(Warning: This post is a ramble. New to talking about it...)
It is such a nice gesture to receive: feedback from writing a blog post or two.
Thanks to those who are reading this brand new blog and to the readers who sent messages.
A question from a reader:
"I understand the dominant/submissive thing but the "play" ..flogging...bondage...all that...sounds painful. Does it actually hurt? And if it actually does, why would you let it be done to you?"
Of course, it is understandable the idea of consensually engaging in activities that bring about pain or willingly have pain being inflicted upon, is a strange one. In a society where the messages are confusing on the subject it is no wonder some even find the idea offensive. Have an affliction in your body? Let's medicate it. The general consensus of society is pain is bad and should be avoided. When experiencing pain, it should be dealt with quickly, to make an end of it.
An expert on the psychology of BDSM or an educator in the kink community (there are approachable experts or much more experienced folk than I out there, who can speak with authority on this issue) I am not, nor can I give you the physiology and neurochemical breakdowns for what can happen...but there is a lot going on.
Does it actually hurt?
It depends on the activity, the implement used and under what settings.
And its hard to compare a paddling to having a pinwheel prick along your calves.
Who is wielding the implement? How much do they want/need to cause pain to experience pleasure themselves? are determining factors.
It has a lot to do with mindset. There are certain things that the mere idea of makes me shudder. And those would probably cause more pain than others, that don't have that mental affect.
From my vantage point there are many, many wonderful activities and toys and experiences I have engaged in that has caused pain. It can hurt and does...(someone would say if it doesn't then its not being done right) but its the kind of pain it is--a good pain, but hurts in the process--, that is hard to explain.
Really thinking about this question, I realised there has maybe been only a few times of designated play scenes that left me crying, withering and sore for days afterwards. Otherwise, I'm hard pressed to point to an example of where the pain I experienced during these activities is worse than a paper cut.
But really, it can hurt.
Why I would let it be done?
Because the pain intensifies the most mundane, casual sensations, leading to pleasure, because there is a fierce masochist streak, because it is fun to explore various sensations caused by an arrange of implements, because being a submissive is so much more than being one who receives pain but, for me at least, its tied in to part of that whole.
A couple of articles, collected over time on this subject:
The Path of Pain: Spiritual BDSM by Kal Cobalt
The Pleasure of Pain, by Marianne Apostolides