Friday, 30 November 2012

Friday Fragments: Carry On

There is snow on the ground and boxes half-packed and bubble wrap everywhere and my home has become one giant confusing maze and there are dinners planned and gatherings to show up to and there is the realisation that perhaps we have too many toys--how exactly does one label that box? and there are phone calls to be returned and cable companies not to deal with and a puzzle of trying to move fish and there are aggressive knocks on the door that shouldn't have been answered and the mystery of why they were answered and weird fake-service people wondering the neighbourhood and there are really, really bright lights on the back fence from our neighbours yard (really? who does that) and they are blinding into our home and the fact that it won't be our home for much longer is a little freaky to grapple with and there are a gazillion phone calls asking us about our holiday plans and there are missed deadlines and surprise meetings and a growing stack of work and there are...

Strong arms enfolding me.
 His voice reminding me,
 "Ce n'est rien, (its nothing) compared to all we've weathered this is a Sunday stroll.
It'll all get done.
 It will be perfect."

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

A Day in the Life

Yesterday, a rather rare occurrence happened, something I don't do often.
At least not voluntarily.

Freezing cold day. I had a pretty amazing yoga class that morning. 
On my way home, I stopped at a coffee shop. After an hour and a half on the transit where I ate an yogurt; pointing that out because I don't think eating sugar is the best thing to do right after that type of exercise (or a 'kinky scene' contrary to some of the advice out there) but this was well after the class and again, freezing cold day. 
I ordered a hot chocolate. 
And turned in the tight queue, hitting the lady behind me with my yoga mat, that was hanging over my shoulder. 
"Sorry! I'm so sorry. This thing is awkward", I said to the lady behind me.
"Really, don't worry about it. Its a good thing you're doing..." 
And a conversation commenced. I told her a little about the class I was taking and she told me a little about her attempts at yoga and then my drink was ready. 
The lady behind me, thought it looked good and ordered one for herself. I told her to enjoy her day and off I went. 

 That was small talk.
Which isn't something I normally willingly engage in or start or make.
 Hard for the majority of extroverts out there to understand, I know.
Why, here?
The impetus of course, was my own action. I continued a conversation because the lady's body language struck me as being very quiet; she spoke in a level tone, she didn't ask me a thousand questions and talked to me about something I obviously have an interest in; not the weather or the crowds or xmas or something trite. All of that, are the keys to making small talk with an introvert.

While we are trying to plan our holiday-feast-ness, there are a few kinky sort of gatherings we are considering. Horace of course, has no problem with these things, loves any version of show and tell and feels very comfortable in large groups.
 It isn't that I am shy; or I dislike people (though some days...) or that I don't want to get to know people or there is a shell I have to come out of. Its just these crowds of people who for some reason, think its all right to barrage me with questions when they don't know me that can be at times of a personal nature, really isn't my thing. And this clash of personalities is another compromise, Horace and I make often.
 I'll go to the events.
He knows that the next day, I'll need a couple of hours to myself to decompress.

 A couple of years ago, a friend pointed me to this article and it really is terrific, on how to deal with your introverts

 Same friend asked me recently if I would write something along the lines of caring for your submissive introvert and I'm mulling it over. Might have to ask some questions to other submissive introverts I know...and that's always a careful dance, after all.

Friday, 23 November 2012

Friday Fragments: Accepter le Compromis

Ah, compromise.
It is a subject that comes up, one the curious ask about in regards to our D/s dynamic.
Is there compromise in your relationship? If Horace is responsible for making all the rules, how could there be?
Yes, its a power exchange, where the balance seems skewed at first glance but it is a balanced relationship, nonetheless and compromise, just as I'm sure its vital in any relationship happens between us all the time, like I mentioned in the last post, we compromise on the noise and level of it all the time.

Sometimes, of course there is no place for it. Horace decided on moving us to the hovel and while I disagreed with the shape of the hovel and the local,  I'm carrying on. Doing what needs to be done, convincing myself that this is a good thing (over and over and I'm so fortunate I have good friends who have let me ramble and ramble and ramble incessantly on the subject) and even looking forward to it. You see, Horace really has me, when he points out things like “You've been wanting to move for years”. Okay, well yes...but, oh forget it, please, hand me another box.

There are many benefits to uprooting and plunking down somewhere else; like changing cable companies. For year's we have lived in one of the last neighbourhoods where the rights agreement still exists—meaning one cable company bid on the rights to service and won and is grandfathered in.. No other cable company can move in on this area; which means they are the only option we have for television, et al. Considering they are the only option, they have charged accordingly. friends a block over, can't believe what we're paying. Crazy, eh? You would think that there would be some kind of governing body that has rules about these things.
Anyways, so I was happy to consider other cable companies, because this one has driven me up a tree for years. I hate this entity.
The last time I spoke to them, I believe my exact words were “Are you the sadists of Satan's?” In a completely neutral, deadpan way.
My husband, of course had to kind of smooth that one over--like he has after every time I've spoken with them-- and while he understands my frustration, wasn't happy with how I behaved towards them.... end result was the cable company is not to call me and I'm not to talk to them. Everyone was happy with this arrangement. 
So the relief of not having this entity in my life was palpable. Until Horace told me that we would be going with this current company in the new hovel. How is that a compromise? Okay, that one isn't.
 Ahh...but my usage of the word 'hovel' is...Horace doesn't care for it but indulges me. 

We had dinner plans—that I was actually looking forward to. I got ready, dressed up and waited as the clock flipped to the hour. Still no call from Horace and no Horace walking in the door. A few short years ago, I would have been miffed. I think as time goes on, with situations like these, you kind of develop some spouse sspidey sense. My sense was telling me, Horace was working late, caught up in something and didn't call because he wasn't able to. I settled in on the couch with a book. Eventually, Horace called.
He was sorry, could I please make our apologies to our dinner guests?
Of course.
I was tired. It has been a few long weeks.
Told my husband, I would really like a nap but I was sitting pretty waiting for him.
Horace told me to take a picture, then I could take a nap.
I hate pictures. The only reason why we have wedding photos, is because Horace insisted (and I'm awfully glad he did) and I don't like taking pictures of myself. But I did. That was a compromise.

Compromises happen all the time. Our approach, given the structure of our relationship might be different but there is still give and take and sometimes our compromises resemble playful-barters.
Finished tidying up. Couldn’t bring myself to wash the super-heavy pot in the sink.
I'll take twenty spanks, I offered.
Thirty and you have a deal, Horace countered.
Sold and over the kitchen chair I went.

Thanks for reading! Have a great Friday!

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

To Inspire and Be Inspired: Liebster Award

Being bogged down and a having a little of the "Staring at the blank blog page" and inspiration not forthcoming, I thought I would play along and consider myself nominated for the Liebster Award, via Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts

Here are eleven facts about me, to share with you: 

1. I love the sky. I spend a great deal of time flipping through NASA's gallery. 

2. I'm pretty sure, I would drink anything that has been percolated. 

3. Both wine and beer make me horribly ill but tis the season and having been invited (already) to a whole lot of wine and cheese parties, has led me to wanting to host a scotch party. 

4. I really wish I could focus strongly enough to write a novel. Working on it. 

5. I'm not horribly creative when it comes to the bedroom. 
Decorating, I mean. 

6. I freak people out often during conversations because I'm perfectly content to let them talk, while I listen and ask a question or two. Silences do not bother me. They seem to bother other people. 

7. My kinky version of 'climbing mount Everest  would be to try a (rope) suspension. This would require the aid of a very patient and experienced rigger and the permission of my husband. Don't think either of those elements are likely going to happen. 

8. I love theatre and one of my favourite plays I ever saw is called Picasso at the Lapin Agile.

9. Though having this blog has helped, I can still be downright squeamish and prudish when talking about sex and all related subjects. 

10. I am not musically inclined, at all: I don't particularly like having music on and despite numerous attempts, can't read sheet music. My husband can play by ear and seems to need background music on. 
Considering too much noise makes me want to put my head through a window; its something we often compromise on. 

11. I love to bake and so wanted to participate in the cookie-exchange that's going on around blogland. But my husband vetoed the idea for fear of revealing family 'secret recipes' . 
My favourite cookie to bake, any time of the year is gingerbread. 

Bonnie's Questions:

1. What's the most foolish thing you've ever bought?

A pair of jeans with fancy beadwork on the pockets. They were expensive and I knew they didn't fit. 

2. What is your favorite body of water?

I love the water, wherever it is found. But somewhere along the Atlantic Ocean, good memories were made.  

3. After a spanking, lotion or no lotion?

That's up to Horace's discretion and usually its no lotion after a spanking. If its a heavier sort of impact play, sometimes an oil but he isn't the "'s your cookie" sort.

4. Would you skinny dip if you could be sure that no one would see?


5. What was the name of your first crush? 

Honestly? I didn't really have a crush. I was too busy looking at the sky and doing other things---dating just kind of eventually happened. Kind of like marriage. 

6. What is your favorite flower?

My favouirte flowers...any that are bleue.

7. What is the best reason to have children? 

That you want them; that they are wanted

8. Do you snore? 
Hmmm...I don't know. 

9. What is your favorite smell? 

Oh I have lots of favourite smells. It would be really corny and kind of gross if I said 'my husband' I like the smells of fall and pie baking and chocolate and espresso and the just-after-the-rain scents. 

10. Are you attracted to people in uniform? 

Not particularly. 

11. Do you prefer mountains, beach, forest, desert, grasslands or city? 

I like the mountains, love the beach, like the idea of the forest more than I enjoy being in it, would take a pass on the desert and grasslands and it really depends on what city. 

If you would like to play along; share eleven facts about you with us and consider yourself nominated and give answers to these eleven questions: 

1. What is your most hated pet name? 
2. What is the one thing that your partner/spouse/other half does that annoys you? 
3. If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be? 
4. What is the most amazing job you could think of, that you would like to do? 
5. What's the most interesting place you have ever been? 
6. Where do you like to be, most? 
7. Is there something kinky you would like to do and haven't? 
8. Who is your favourite person in this world (excluding your partner/spouse/other half)?
9. Is there something you've been meaning to blog about, but haven't? 
10. What do you want? 
11. Combien de langues parlez-vous? (How many languages do you speak?) 

Monday, 19 November 2012

Random Moonday Thoughts

I don't want to hesitate, or hold back. 
 But I want to be actions match my intent..of expressing submission 
 And not an attempt at dictating how I think it should be... 
  I want to be led..even if I stumble on the hill of demands..

I think I am still learning the elements of submission when it comes to just doing something... I know will please him or express how I feel but I halt in my tracks, because I think its such a fine line of wanting to offer that--some expression or show--but the fear of coming across as too strong, or dictating often keeps me back. 
  Its one of these Mondays or days, when I'm just feeling the absence of the collar (one of my dearest friends termed it that way recently and I've 'stolen' the phrase--obviously I mean metaphorically) and its a ho-hum kind of day all around; one of these days that we often have where it means it will be long hours until we see each other. 
And my rational, logical brain thinks "That's silly" but the part of me that wants to bask in his Dominance and yield to his words, his touch, all parts of him, is a slight wreck. 


Some random housekeeping:
 Apologies for the word verification thing, but I've been hit with an alarming amount of spam bots lately.
 To the person who emailed me and said, while they enjoyed my blog, 'their Master' wouldn't let them comment...thanks? I guess? I do wonder why you felt it necessary to tell me about it and would like to say, I mostly write this blog for myself: comments are lovely, always appreciated but my feelings aren't hurt if there are no comments; and I also do wonder...why would you read something if your 'Master' has a problem with it? But perhaps that's just because if I'm told not to read a certain blog or website, I don't.

 Hope you are all having a great start to your week!

Image source:

Friday, 16 November 2012

Friday Fragments: A Blueprint

As I've been packing up our home this week, to go to another and as the stuff that still needs to be packed, seems never-ending, last night I packed a box of our wedding stuff. 
 And that made me a little sentimental. 

I think our wedding, how we planned it, how we created it, was the perfect blueprint. Because we're us--we did it all in a way that worked for us. A little unconventional, with lots of creativity and elements that had special meaning to the two of us. We didn't care what anyone else said or suggested--however well meaning they may have been. I even wrote the entire ceremony (with lots of input from Horace) and there are many days when I see the promises we made that day, as a guide, yes, a blueprint indeed. Vows aren't meant to be said and forgotten but lived. 

Having said that, the other day, when I had to fill out a form, I caught myself and started writing my maiden name. This marriage thing, still feels very new, at times. 
 And I kind of like that. 
 There are other times when it has that old-comfortable feeling, and I think its a blend of two that keeps it in a kind of balance that works. Horace always delights in surprising me and knows me well enough to know, I need some sort of constant newness, its not that I am unhappy with how things are but I like new challenges, new opportunities, new experiences.
Even, when faced with it, that's when I tend to retreat and get a little freaked about change and then I dig in my heels. My husband is very good and holding it all steady and calm; holding me steady and calm. 
 I trust him to do what's right for us and if that means living in a hovel, well it does have a very nice view. 
And both of us strive to follow the blueprint, as it changes, grows, expands and becomes new. 

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Moins on en sait, Mieux on se porte!

(Moins on en sait, Mieux on se porte! = The less you know, the better it saying 'ignorance is bliss'...if only that was acceptable) 

You know that feeling...the dawning realization that you just went and did something that in retrospect (or five minutes after the fact) you probably shouldn't have done because it wasn't the brightest idea you've ever had and you just know he isn't going to be very pleased with this.
It isn't anything major, not a breaking of a rule or being disobedient but still.
  The general idea I live by is to try and make his life easier. Our life easy. I try--and sometimes because I'm me it takes a great deal of effort--not to do anything that's inconvenient or going to add to the steady, orderly swirl of chaos we have going on.
  I can, blame this one on my mother, which is a small consolation.

Though 'cleanliness is godliness  to her the methodology wasn't something she taught her children  We were told to get out of the way. If only she had encouraged housekeeping skills like she had with baking/cooking, I would be a much better housekeeper.

Though my siblings got the same shooing-away as I did, the benefit of them being older is by the time I got out on my own, they had already figured that kind of stuff out. I learned how to clean from them and from an Aunt who just has the know-how about all household-related things. 
I should have called her when the idea popped into my head.

And now, I don't mind cleaning. It doesn't give me a sense of accomplishment or anything but when I have time to clean our home, it means there is downtime, so cleaning isn't a big deal.

(Kind of seeing why my mother staked out a claim for cleaning alone, come to think of it but anyways..) And I am kind of in the middle of a cleaning frenzy around here. It only makes sense, clean it before you pack it.

But I went to change the sheets. And even though the very-new-mattress isn't gross or anything, I thought: "Wouldn't it be a good idea to clean this?"
Right. Not so much.

Because cleaning a mattress is quite involved  But I looked it up online, got all the stuff and went to it.
 I got interrupted.
Went back to it, got interrupted again.
These interruptions were good. Because, somewhere between how I started and how I went back to it, I only did each side of the mattress, not the middle.

But did you takes time for a mattress to dry? And the chances of it being dried completely for tonight are kind of slim?

And while I'm on the subject: months ago, we had been talking about getting a bigger bed but we needed a new mattress and got the new mattress before a decision was made on a bigger bed. And we love this locally manufactured mattress. Its like sleeping on a firm, yet soft and puffy cloud.

Does the size of the bed matter? It turns out it was a good idea not to go for the bigger bed because a new bedroom awaits us and it might be slightly smaller than what we have now (the trade off is bigger living space), so there is that but I don't think pointing that out this evening would be a good idea.

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Release of Resistance, Resistance

The release of resistance--necessary to change and growth, has quite the affect. 
if you have been stuck on a reoccurring thought--a preconceived way of how you think your life should be--and the thought has been like a mantra circulating in your head for over two years and finally, somehow you let it go to think new thoughts and think of other alternatives...the release of resistance is like floodgates opening. 
 Because suddenly, new opportunities arise and its one giant-becoming-unstuck in every area of your life--its not instant manifestation but its awfully close. The affect is even more potent when you and your partner are on the same page. 

This is all grand; I like change. But Horace and I handle stress and change differently and that conflict has left us scrambling to find some version of our normal in this chaos. 
We have had silly, pointless spats (nothing major or earth shattering, just off the mark for know, debates really: "The sky is blue". "No actually, the sky is colourless.."...actually, I think we fall into this habit when things are stressful...I look to Horace to lead us back but if he's the one who has started the debate...yeah).
 I like to plan out every moment of my life. There, I admitted it. 
Well, I like to somewhat plan out every minute of my life--I at least like to have an idea of what is going to happen that day--a weird juxtaposition when I'm the one who always clamours for new things and changes, I know--and when its big life changes, I handle the stress by planning out how its all going to work. I want it done before I get to the new thing--that kind of thinking.
But it can't happen like that--maybe if we had more time. Maybe. So maybe its not every moment of my life I like to plan out but I have become a little reliant on our routines. Our rules. Our structure. And I'm not sure if that's a bad thing. 
 But that's what is all upside down at the moment.
  And Horace is in a different place because he deals with changes and stress differently. As usual, I broadcast my emotions and feelings every second, whilst Horace doesn't actually show any sign of all of this getting to him...but the debates are our little fall backs. And all of this is kind of irritating and going against the grain of the release of resistance because suddenly having a little friction in our relationship is really weird. 

 Anyways: I'm trying to determine how useful a salt grinder is. Any opinions? Someone gave it to us eons ago as a gift and its heavy and kind of awkward.
 (I ask for opinions but its with the caveat of differences of opinions notwithstanding. Horace thinks it should go in a box. I am having trouble envisioning myself using the thing in the next year or ever). 

Thanks for reading. 

Friday, 9 November 2012

Love Our Lurkers Day!: A Spanking Hello

Welcome to Love Our Lurkers Day. This is the 7th edition Bonnie has hosted over at My Bottom Smarts and this year--as the first time being on the blogging side of the fence--I am thrilled to participate.
 Lovely lurkers, I understand your plight. Even today, with my own blog there are instances where I won't leave a comment because I don't know what to say, what I do want to say, will probably offend someone or I just feel very, very shy.
But today its our beloved lurkers day and we are really hoping to hear from you. You see, lurkers make up the majority of consistent blog traffic and some days, when there is no comments and you feel like striking the whole thing, at least this blogger has been reassured by the silent readers.
 Today I invite you to comment and say "Hello", tell us a little about yourself, and maybe why you like this blog and if you're feeling very brave, what you would like to see more of.
 I would like to share with you a real-life spanking tale:
(c Bleuame 2012)
There always seems to be a debate, when it comes to spanking for discipline, if its really effective. My answer to this has always been a resounding 'yes'. Spanking is a tool used in our D/s relationship but not the only one and nowadays its used for an array of other things: a reminder, a pulling me back into line, stress relief and foreplay. But I think spanking is how our power exchange started to become cemented, the first seed, so to speak. 
 Many years ago, I used to have this habit of walking away from Horace when we were out. Literally, we would be in a store, a market, a plaza, a park and I would give in to my impatience and frustration and walk away from him. 
  Horace hated this behaviour. He thought it was rude and disrespectful--which clearly it was--but at the time, I didn't see it that way. I would justify it by saying things like, "Well if you didn't take so long in the store", or "I was annoyed, would rather I stand at your side and throw a hissy-fit?" 
 Let me repeat: this was very, very early in our relationship. Long before we were married, before there was an engagement ring on my finger, before we were living together. 

One day, while we were out, Horace stopped at a display in the mall that didn't interest me at all and I walked away from him and walked all the way outside. 
Ten minutes later, Horace came out of the mall and the look on his face was steely as he grabbed my hand harshly and marched me into the car. 
"I'm taking you home and we're going to deal with this. That's the last time you walk away from me like that again."
My stomach dropped to the floor but I felt a little filter of excitement. Horace had spanked me before, a couple of times for discipline but mostly spanking lead to other kinkier things and usually ended in sex.

 Horace flipped on the radio, calmly drove to my place, without saying a word. I would go to say something, take one look at the expression on his face, and bit my tongue. 
At my place, Horace lead me straight into my bedroom, took my jacket off, tossed into a corner and sat on my pleather-couch-fold-out-bed and held both of my hands, positioning me so that I was standing in front of him. 
"I am going to spank you for your behaviour today and you will never act this way again. It's rude, disrespectful and I know you are a better woman than that."
And it one quick motion, Horace had be over his lap and his palm was coming down hard on my behind. 

Oh, I protested. I told him he couldn't do this, that my behaviour wasn't so bad, he was overreacting. 
 He told me to be quiet and he kept on spanking, steadily until there was a warm heat on my bottom. 
 Then Horace stood me back on my feet and told me to get myself into the corner and stand there. 
  I shook my head; he glowered and said, "Now." 
I dragged myself so very slowly, across the room and stood in the corner, pouting. 
  Unlike many, I hate 'cornertime'. And I actually hate it, not a pretend hate but please do it to me anyways, kind of hate, no this is a hate with a passion kind of hate. Even today, all Horace has to say is 'corner' and its one of those trigger words that comes with a hefty warning. 
 Anyways, as I stood in the corner, I looked at Horace over my shoulder and he wasn't looking at me. He didn't seem bothered at all that I was standing in the corner. 
After what seemed like forever, Horace called me over to him. 
"How are you feeling?"
"This isn't fair--" and that's as far as I got before, once again I was over Horace's lap and my bare bottom was exposed to his strong hand, that spanked and spanked, despite my meek protests. 

Horace sent me back to the corner again. 
By this time, the fire was dying and I was actually starting to pay attention to him. My mind was going back to the incident in the mall that lead me to this and to all those other times. 
 Horace called me back over to him, and this time I put myself over his lap and I felt his spanks more because my butt was past warm--it was hot and stinging and his big strong hand still came down relentlessly. 
 Horace lectured me; telling me what behaviour he expected from someone in his company, how he expected me as a woman to behave and how my behaviour was going to change. 
He stopped and I went back to the corner. 
 But this time, his words had actually really penetrated. Horace hadn't made any threats, he didn't say "behave better or its over" but I knew he wanted more. I knew, even if that statement wasn't spoken, Horace wasn't going to put up with this--even his patience has its limits. And I knew I could do better.
 When Horace called me over to him, I went with my head down and as meekly as I could. 
He put me right over his lap, his hand on my neck and started spanking me again, silently. He didn't say a word and I felt tears well up and to my utter surprise, they started falling. My bottom was sore but I hardly noticed. I felt shame and guilt and disappointment. 
 Horace's hand stopped and he gently massaged my back, brought me up right and pointed. 
  Back to the corner I went: even though all I wanted was for him to hug me. 
After a couple of minutes, Horace said,"Come here". 
I did, once again putting myself over his lap. But he softly spanked me, little pats landing on my sore behind. 
"Are you going to act like that ever again?"
|"No", I promised. 

"You've learned your lesson?"
"Yes...I really am sorry and won't act so disrespectful towards you again."
Horace gave me one more resounding spank, brought me up so I was sitting on his lap, put my head against his shoulder and held me. 

This was, like I have said, a long time ago, but I never walked away from Horace again in public after that and also, after this incident, I started looking at how I could act in a more deferential way--which took some work and still does. Spanking can help to cure bad habits, at least for me and my habits it has!

 Thank-you for reading and happy Love Our Lurkers Day!

Art is courtesy of our dear friend at Many Faces Art .  
 For usage of image please see here:

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Sleepy Submission

I have learned this week, that submission is so much easier when one's world has been turned upside down and one is utterly exhausted from all the highs and crashing lows and fun and excitement of these changes.

Being exhausted--at least this particular brand--, lowers the resistance. It also cancels out rationality, opinions, ideas, creativity and doing anything at a quick clip but there is major upside, here.
 After all, I've been struggling to go with the flow for years. If only I had known it would take the combination of an exhausted body but an overworked, geared up mind. Those two things meet in the middle and ends up with this kind of lull of sleepiness.

Here are some examples:

"Of course. I would be thrilled (I actually used that word) to go to a new munch.
 Its no big deal after leaving work, I got horribly lost and had to take an over packed train filled with students.  No problem. Happy to do it. Even made it on time. Now if you would kindly keep me awake long enough to eat this appetizer..."

"What's that? It looks like fun. Never mind that its flat and metal. Its kind of shiny. Oh, you want to use on me? I've put up an argument against this kind of thing before...really? What was my hang-up on all things metal about? Can't really recall anymore. Especially if you keep doing that..."

"All right.
You think we should go and live in a hovel.
Does it have a nice view?"

Like most other things on this blog, these are slight exaggerations but it gives you a glimpse of the last week and a half or so :o)
  Don't forget to vote! 
                      On the sidebar--tell me what you would like to read and I'll comply for the upcoming

Friday, 2 November 2012

Friday Fragments: Upcoming LOL Day

LOL Day 7 will take place next Friday and I'm thrilled to be on the blogging-side-of-the-fence and looking forward to participating.
Love Our Lurkers Day is when a bunch of bloggers post and encourage (because I couldn't think of any good bribes) and invite readers to come and leave a comment, we are inviting those who watch to come and say 'Hello'. Its worth reading the full description over at My Bottom Smarts

 I know, some of the things I write about, .doesn't make it easy for my readership.
You never quite know what you're going to get when you click on over here.
But I couldn't do this any other way because even though its under the cloud covering of anonymity, it is still me and this is pretty much how I prattle on in real life, too. Depending on the company, of course.
 I should do it more often, but I don't write with the audience in mind all the time...I mostly scrawl what I feel like. Some have emailed, asking if I could write on/talk more about: BDSM&Paganism, having a disability and kink, among other topics but those two are the most commonly requested and to do justice to both those themes is kind of an ongoing process for me and I haven't felt that I've written anything worthy enough to share.
  For next week's LOL Day, I thought I would ask the audience what they would like and I made a poll over there, on the sidebar. You could also leave your preference in a comment (and you are allowed to comment anonymously on this blog) and you could even tweet me your suggestion at:
@Bleuame_ perhaps, we can view this as a dress rehearsal for LOL Day itself. 
  I am grateful for those who come by and read and for LOL Day I'd like to write on demand...because even though I don't do it in a fluttering-of-eyelashes-kind-of-way, I do aim to please. 
 You pick it and the theme with the most votes is what I'll write about.

Options for next week's LOL Day Post are:
  • Erotica Fiction (probably an erotic short or flash)
  • Spanking
  • Starting D/s or '24/7' dynamic 
  • Erotica Art 
  • Tales of Discipline and Control 
  • Something to do with Sex
  • S'il vous plaît écrire en français

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Where to Kink...or not

Being a Canadian, an American-colleague recently told me over drinks, automatically makes me more liberally inclined than the most 'extreme left-wing democrats'. I don't know how true that is, there are plenty of conservative folks around here, including my parents but even though they are 'old-world' in a lot of what they do, having worked and lived during the era of Trudeau, I'm pretty sure they cast their ballots for the liberal party, still.
 Needless to say, there are many differences between our societal perspectives than our neighbours. 

I thought of this conversation, while I was reading yet another post on 'not putting your kink' on people who haven't agreed to be a part of your 'sex games'. 
 And I think, a lot of that, has to do with where you live, in terms of what is acceptable and what isn't. We live next door to one of the most populated cities in the country, visiting downtown on any evening, I can expect to see all hair colours of the rainbows, women wearing interesting and unique outfits, men whose faces are covered in metal, men and women dressed in leathers, and women with dreads in their hair and shaved heads and wearing corsets; and I highly doubt that all of these people are 'kinky. But maybe you would only see people wearing these things or expressing their creativity through their tattoos and hairstyles, if you lived somewhere else, if you were only hanging out with other kinky-minded people. 
 So if I go out to an event, in this area and Horace has roped up some part of my body beforehand, creating leg bands and armbands and halter-ties, or braided pieces of rope woven into my hair, no one thinks anything of it. They think its artsy and creative, never once when having been asked about the rope on my body, has someone linked it to a kink (I guess you could bring up the point that rope isn't a kink, but I'm hoping you get my point, regardless).
 I'm not advocating that you should put your kinkiness on the public, but I do think its a skewed statement or argument or warning...or whatever you call the 'no kink on others' writings that are so rampant.

I have, however witnessed what you could be called 'putting your kink on others'. Beautiful Sunday afternoon, we had to drive through suburbia to get to one of those plazas with the big-box-stores--I'm sure you know the kind of thing. There are families everywhere, elderly couples, it is packed. As we walked across the parking lot, Horace stooped suddenly and gestured.
 We exchanged quizzical expressions with each other and went on into the store. Then we laughed, because something about seeing a women, with boots up to her knees, wearing a mini-skirt and a cleavage revealing top, standing in front of a car, while being spanked by a man, in the middle of the parking lot on a Sunday afternoon, struck us as hilarious. And weird
  Which is funny in itself that we thought this was weird.
That, that is the kind of incident |I would describe as putting your kink on others.
  What is kind of ironic about this, is we were there at the big-box store, shopping for a new floor pillow (and when did floor pillows stop being trendy? They are awfully hard to find) which at least sent my mind off in several lovely ways. 
   Furniture of course being a privilege and all