Friday, 31 October 2014

Looking At Details

Thank-you for all the encouraging emails...each one of them helped to lift my confidence again. 

My belly is the size of a pumpkin. 
But I somehow, don't feel heavy--it's like my body has adapted to the extra weight and we are just carrying on as usual. One of the most surprising things about the last eight months, is how well my body has adapted. There were concerns that it might not go this well or be this easy, but it has and is and I'm just so grateful it has been smooth sailing, physically. I have had very little of those typical symptoms and I am making pregnancy look like a cake walk. 

This has been such a period of adjustment for us both and it makes me wonder about the future. Are we going to be able to get back to the M/s dynamic we had? Even a little? Or are we, like so many others it seems, going to loose ourselves in this new chapter? 

It's not completely true, I know that his sadist needs to come out and play but I have always felt, that I am the one who needs the actual physicality of kink more than him. He is happy with service. 
And while I am happy to be of service, I am much more full filled when I am both useful and used. When it's all service, all the time, there is a certain monotony that settles in and I detest boredom. 

But today is much more of a day to look forwards than backwards. And I can't tell you how happy I am, anticipating the next months to come. I am starting to feel a little eager--but this is one process I do not want to rush. 
The details will work themselves out, for now its enough, more than enough for us to revel in being this ridiculously happy. 
 From one new year to the next, it just gets better. 

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Call for Props

Last week, He and I were in a situation that ended up being kind of scary. Oh, it wasn't invasive or medically threatening or anything of that nature but what I thought was information gathering, a consult, turned into being so much more. 
Both of us, were unprepared for it and it kind of spun our heads a little bit. 
And I still don't feel "right" about it. 

You see. for all these months, I had been planning an unmedicated birth. I spent a lot of time learning about pain techniques and natural births and flooding myself with good examples. This is still our plan. 

But because the events of last week, were what they were, it's shaken my confidence a little bit. Some doubt has crept into my head as to whether or not I can actually go through with the plan. 
And doubt is so useless and a mental hurdle to get over. 

I'm looking to restore the confidence I had in the plan, my friends and to eliminate the doubt and fears that have crept in. I know I am not the only one who has been down this path...if you have any advice/encouraging words to share, I would be grateful to hear them.

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Checking In and Zoning Out

I know. 
It's been awhile. 
Somehow, blogging is on my list of priorities these days but I thought I would give a quick update. 

Thank-you for all the kind messages and emails! I'm not spending a lot of time at the screens these days, so apologies for not replying to everyone, but I so appreciate being thought of. And I miss Blogland. 

It's been a trifle stressful with continuing to get the Hovel ready to expand to accommodate a third being. But it's slightly better now, because we are closer and it looks like we will be closer at the end of this weekend. 

This past weekend, the long Thanksgiving weekend, we shifted ever so slightly back to our normal and it felt positively blissful. For the first weekend or week night in a long time, Horace didn't have to run around, work late or do something for the Hovel and we spent good time together. Even got in a little bit of play. 
 In before times, it would have constituted as a good warm-up, but you know what? I'm not picky these days. It was delightful. 

I was also able to cook, clean and bake and by doing so, reclaimed some of the Hovel back. It's amazing to me, how much my slavehood evolves around home and hearth and kitchen witchery. So things are on the level with us. 

I'm feeling good, maybe just a little bit achy at night but that's it really, as far as physical symptoms go--yeah, truly not making friends with the other pregnant women,
I do find myself having to dig more for energy and less inclined to want to summon the energy to clean the floors. 

Will do my best to duck back in with another update or to before the weeks are up.

I've just kind of been in this solitary cocoon that is suiting me fine and enjoying the moments.

Thanks for thinking of me, my friends.