Friday, 10 November 2017

Being Choked By Normalcy

Its morning.
He's washing dishes, because if it wasn't for him, the Hovel would be completely in shambles. And I feel a bit of guilt because that's my job he's doing, as I do every time he does something.
Except for laundry--the laundry is all his.
He made coffee and I'm making breakfast and we chitchat and talk about the day's plans and what we are going to do and hey, we made it to Friday and I put the coffee in the mug for him, he says thanks and he hands me a glass of water and tells me to drink it before I have coffee and I don't resist and drink the water even though I don't want to. 
Its all lovely.
And I'm being choked by normalcy. 
After these few minutes of quiet together, chaos erupts and both of us are already in different directions, taking care of different parts and its still lovely but noisy--oh goddess, how noisy my Hovel is these days! Only to get more noisy, I'm told--and its still lovely..though by this point in time, I'm starting to feel mildly jealous that he gets to walk out the door and leave this noise and chaos behind.
There's laughter and exchanges and happiness and harmony and this is good.

For me, I think D/s was an experiment. He wanted it and I wanted to see if I could do it and what it would be like and if we could take what we had in the bedroom 24/7.

Time grants a wider perspective.
There was a time, not that long ago that I was hurting so bad, I didn't want this...but that's the thing...I wanted the pain to stop. I'm not sure if I actually wanted to be without these bonds.
There is a lot to be said, for sticking it through.
But if I had the choice, I'm not sure I would be here now or if we would be here now.
Fortunately, I didn't have the choice.
I'm grateful that he has more faith than I do.

I so adore this piece from greengirl's tumblr, yes.

So we haven't had sex in forever and our days of M/s like we had are long over and who knows if we can even be kinky like we wanna be, and the rabbit hole we are currently in is KTTHA, we are still here.
That's cool.




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Thank-you for reading.