Friday, 12 January 2018

In the action

He has taken the moments when I tell him I won't do something as a signal of me being stressed out of my sleep-deprived mind.
Because apparently, it is, like in actuality. 

He knows I'll do it, no matter what I claim in the stressed out moment and of course he's right because there is no way I can *not* do it, how we roll. 

But me telling him I can't/won't is like.....letting off steam? I don't know, I've only just realized that this happens. Its a way for him to come in, to ease the stress? 

I do now this is part of learning how to manage all the stuffs. 
And that last year, he would have taken offence to it/been hurt by me telling him I wasn't going to do something.

Its helpful, to realize this and its helpful in action but it bothers me at the same time.

(and yes I edited for title)


  1. Hi Bleue, helpful yet bothersome at the same time, yep I get it. But it is overall good yes? Especially that he no longer takes offence.


    1. Good overall, yes, we will go with that :-)

      Helpful that He doesn't take offence because I never did to intentionally go against him.

  2. At least you now recognize it for what it is! All about communication.

    1. Hi Lea,

      Yes that's true! But I'm still grappling with what it means. Absolutely.

  3. i think it's quite amazing that it can take two people some time to figure out what the other one is really saying / feeling / thinking even tho we sometimes don't articulate it clearly. and when they figure it out it just feels so satisfying.

  4. I can't tell you how many times I have said to Barney, " I am NOT going to do that!" . His response is always the same, " You say that now, but we both know you are going to".." NO I AM NOT! NOT THIS TIME!!!"....then later she does. Sigh.

    Well I guess in some ways it is a positive that he sees and knows me better than I do myself in my crazed, emotional state?


    1. That's the thing, i often wonder how sometimes BIKSS KNOWS what i'm going to think/do/say before *I* do, and i only realise it AFTERwards that he knew way before I did. almost like magic!

  5. *sigh* stress and/or lack of sleep ruins everything.

    Okay, maybe not everything, but you know what I mean. :)


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